08 June 2006


I've been wearing everything on the surface lately. I'm not usually good at hiding much anyways. Yesterday I had the worst headache I've had in a while, the feeling of a pain as a tangible object. One you wish you could just rip out - a bloody mass, still pulsating - in a sigh of relief.

I just needed sleep.

Today came and went, on the ride home I found myself in tears. Weeping in the car. Not because of anything bad. I like my life right now.

My girlfriend, she leaves me little notes. She leaves them on my tie rack, in the medicine cabinet, on my computer. A loving scavenger hunt and every time I find one I smile. Little secrets left for me to find. It's a great feeling. We are at total ease around each other and I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything. I'm happier than I've been in a long time.

Sometimes, when you go so long without feeling, being reminded of your own emotions, well, it can be jarring.

You find yourself in tears at the most inopportune times. For me it was in the car on the way home from a normal day. Hearing a song on the radio, it fell over me, reminding me of how lucky I really am.

Regina Spektor : Samson
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