29 April 2005

This fits today

The muffled thunder of dialogue comes through the walls, then a chorus of laughter. Then more thunder. Most of the laugh tracks on television were recorded in the early 1950s. These days, most of the people you hear laughing are dead.

The stomp and stomp and stomp of a drum comes down through the ceiling. The rhythm changes. Maybe the beat crowds together, faster, or it spreads out, slower, but it doesn't stop.

Up through the floor, someone's barking the words to a song. These people who need their television or stereo or radio playing all the time. These people so scared of silence. These are my neighbors. These sound-oholics. These quiet-ophobics.

Laughter of the dead comes through every wall.

These days, this is what passes for home sweet home.

This siege of noise.

An Excerpt from Lullaby, by Chuck Palaniuk
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26 April 2005

The Dark

Yesterday I had one of the worst migraines I’ve had in a really long time. The kind of pain that makes you want to drive an ice pick into your eye until you cant see the handle anymore. That’s where I was 18 hours ago, nauseous and ready to do something crazy.

I stayed in bed. I stayed in bed from about 1:30pm on, only getting up to fumble in the dark, drink water, and take more meds. Now -- 2000mg of ibuprofen and one multivitamin later -- the pain still remains, though the intensity has dulled.

It was nice outside yesterday, or it wasn’t, I honestly can’t remember. These things take control of me. They slam me down in the dark and don’t let me up until they’re done, held captive in the abyss of my four walls and ceiling. How long will it last? How long till it goes away? How. Long.

With a migraine all you have to worry about is time.

I dreamt. I dreamt about a lot of things. I had a dream I hadn’t had since I was laid up with my tonsils removed. Since I was on 300mg of OxyContin 2 years ago. It was horrifying.

Someone was giving birth on a salad bar. Old men and women in business suits were sitting in pews, lined up like they were at church. They were all fixated on the young woman giving birth. There was something wrong. The baby was coming out of her forehead and just then everyone started throwing up their brain.

Yeah, I would have rather not relived that one.

Amelie kept me company. I remember her hard little paws walking around the bed, searching for the right place to curl up, finally making a home in the small of my back. This is home to only a select few.

Kelly stopped by. She was running the parkway and dropped in to see how I was doing. I tried to pull myself up and hold a conversation. It was moderately effective. I only remember her smiling at my door. She never gets headaches so she has trouble relating. After about 20 minutes she was on her way again and I was back to the dark.

I know the dark well; I'm no stranger to it. I spend a lot of my time there. Funny thing about the dark though, sometimes it’s all we have. That is until someone turns on the light, and we realize that now we can never really go back to the dark again.

For some reason a migraine isn’t as bad if you have that.
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22 April 2005

Wait, this isn't me...

[-o-] posted this on his blog and I really liked it. Anyone who knows me personally knows I never do these things, but I read his and it seemed really detailed. It wasn't just the run of the mill descriptions you usually see. So I decided, what the hell, I have no work on my desk...

Anyways, it's 70 questions and you might learn something about yourself. For the most part I think it's pretty accurate. The only thing that I didn't agree with was it said I take myself too seriously. But then again, who does think that about themselves?

So yeah, if you end up taking it, copy and post your results in the comments, I'd like to know who I'm dealing with.



INFJ - the counselor
You scored 27% I to E, 47% N to S, 42% F to T, and 15% J to P!
Your type is best summed up by the word "counselor", which belongs to the larger group of idealists. Only 2% of the population share your type. You are so empathic that you often know what others need before they know themselves. You are a complex person who can deal with complicated issues and people, almost prefer to, as you love problem solving. You can be something of an idealist or perfectionist, and should try to take yourself a little less seriously.

You are a supportive and insightful romantic partner, encouraging your mate to have dreams and work hard to make those dreams come true. Because you are so creative, you have a wealth of ideas to help them toward those goals. You need harmony so much that you are driven to resolve conflict quickly, as long as the terms don't violate your ethics. You feel the most appreciated when your partner admires your creativity, trusts your inspirations, and respects your values. It is also vitally important that your partner be open and emotionally available - in other words, that they be willing to share themselves completely.

Your group summary: idealists (NF)
Your type summary: INFJ

The LONG Scientific Personality Test
Written by unpretentious2 on Ok Cupid
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19 April 2005

Keeping myself creative

About a week ago I wrapped up work on the DVD for the School of Improv show I filmed at the DC Improv. Everything turned out pretty well and people seem to be enjoying the work. It keeps me creative when I really don't have much else goin' on. I can't complain, I enjoy it and they pay me.

Anyways, here's the cover I threw together along with a link to the opening montage I made to run during the chapter selection on the DVD menu.

The cover, well, it's kind of a tradition now that I do something in the vein of old-school, cheesy horror. I decided the Photoshop Priday route would be best for this edition. Usually I rely on screen shots of old Ray Harryhausen movies. 7th Voyage of Sinbad, Earth Vs. The Flying Saucers, things like that. It's just my sense of humor I guess, I can't explain it. People seem to dig, well that is, nobody complains.


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18 April 2005

In the dot BIN

Saturday pics have been posted in the bin. Check em out! Some of the gallery issues have been fixed as well. Now when you click the 'gallery' link underneath a fullsize image it takes you back to the page in the gallery you were last on instead of the first page in the gallery. It should be easier to navigate now, you shouldn't have to use your 'back' button. There are still things I want to tweak but for now it's working pretty well.

I may post more about Saturday later. I also had a great conversation with my Mom and my Grandma on Sunday about 'noise culture' I'd like to share, but right now I'm low on time so this post will have to do.
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14 April 2005

Blood, sweat, and sweet, sweet CSS

Might I point your attention to the fancy, brand-spanking-new image gallery to your right. It took me the better part of three days to get up and functioning but I'm pretty proud of it. There are still some things I want to add and some kinks that need worked out, but right now it's up and that's all that matters.

Anyways, in there you'll find some pics of my two days in DC this past weekend. All told it was tons of fun, the weather was perfect. Kelly and I got to be dorks in the Air and Space Cafe, where -- might I add -- the trashcans talk to you and it's $7.99 for a Mcnuggets meal. No shit. It's all owned by McDonald and they're raking it in.

Besides that the places we ate were great, minus some hot sauce I had at California Tortilla on Sunday. Honestly why would I ever want to put anything in my body that clearly states on the label, Rectal Ripper? I must have been delirious, the Metro will do that to a man.

Another place Kelly and I ate was The Chophouse in downtown Chinatown, cool swing music and tasty American fare.

All told, I'd do it again. :)

Wow, I just talked a lot about eating. What's with me today? I didn't once even mention the art galleries or the cherry blossoms. Oh well, I have pictures of those things...

So yeah, the gallery, I'll be updating it frequently, check it out if you want. Also, since it's brand new, let me know what you think. I'd like some feed back.
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07 April 2005

Since it's coming up

I thought I'd post something I wrote about my experience at Otakon last year. That and I haven't posted anything in a few days and I really dont feel like writing anything new... I hope it gets everybody geared up for this year. I can't freakin' wait!

I still don't know where Jon got that hat. It just appeared on his head durring a drunken episode. Maybe that's what affords him his super powers. I must attain such a wonderous cap this year. BTW, that's me in that pic, next to Jon, with the pack of hot-dogs on my neck.



Quit your job. Go to Otakon. Wake up early.

At roughly 9:00am in the morning on July 30th the “geek-bomb” that was Otakon had long since gone off. Leaving only strangely dressed teenagers and adults in its wake. Speaking in words only they themselves understand, discussing videogames and cartoons with passion matched only by that of the Christian church, their line stretched around the entire convention center. It looked like the line at McDonald’s after fat-camp let out for the summer. Only with more geeks.

Quit your job. Go to Otakon. Have sword envy.

Forget about your penis. The bigger your fake sword is, the more Tifas you’ll have on your shoulder. I think the largest sword there had to be about 15 feet, and man, if I was gay or a girl, that woulda made me hot, let me tell you. But I’m neither and I still felt something. Shock. Jon and I literally just walked around for hours taking it all in. After all, I think the saying is: The bigger the sword the more your dumbass has to carry around all fucking day.

Quit your job. Go to Otakon. Take pictures.

Who you are at Otakon is not who you are in the rest of the world. This goes for everyone except the 50 year-old-fat-balding men. They can’t help but be themselves. Creepy. Their flashes go off every five seconds, drooling over some half dressed girl who’s supposed to be, Aeris, or Tifa, or a DOA fighter, or, whoever. Yeah these guys are the same ones you see in the adult section of the video store. Hentai. Tentacle sex. You know the type. He’s going home to his mom’s basement and he’s making a shrine. He’s putting it together with glue. His own personal blend.

Quit your job. Go to Otakon. Get your ass handed to you.

In a sea of video-gamers there can be only one. And know this, that one isn’t gonna be you. The one is a 13 year-old kid who’s handle is Wicked, or l337ninja. He’s cleaning the floor with your corpse as a mop. Master Chief is his bitch. He’s talking smack and you can’t do jack shit about it. This is the part where we all feel old.

Quit your job. Go to Otakon. Pay three-fifty for a hotdog.

I’m telling you there is nothing quite like watching your favorite anime character, overweight, powering down a hotdog or two. That is worth 50 dollars in its self. The way the spandex just barely covers his round belly; it’s not so much a costume as it is anatomy class. Mustard running down his fingers, I must have watched as Inuyasha put away 3 in under two minutes. ESPN needs to come here next year.

Quit your job. Go to Otakon. Make mixed drinks in the bathroom.

We had all the parts. We snuck it in and assembled it in the bathroom. No one was the wiser. Well, there was that one guy but he didn’t say anything. Thank God. We drink while we cuss at videogame screens. The punch line to the joke was: there’re twenty of ‘em. We had to explain it to an 18 year-old if I remember correctly. And yeah, kids can’t play Halo on vodka. Well neither can I apparently.

Quit your job. Go to Otakon. Make friends in a Hentai theater.

Learning about Yuri and Yaoi in a darkened theater, intoxicated, laughing loudly, and screaming at your lung's top, is possibly one of the greatest experiences of one’s life. But as for the kid in front of you, yeah, he’s not so lucky. The way he complained you woulda thought his ears were bleeding. Hey, maybe they were.

Quit your job. Go to Otakon. Have the time of your life.

Hang out with the coolest people at the Con and don’t take it all so seriously. Be the kings. Get drunk, fight a bouncer, fall on your ass, dance around to cool DJ beats, accost people. Get lost in the dealer room, watch some horrible music videos, make a lot of fun.

Quit your job. Go to Otakon. Repeat.
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03 April 2005

The next time you think you're cool...

remember, you're not this freakin' cool.

Apparently this guy makes stormtrooper armor and he's local to me. WHOA! I need to party with The Empire!
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02 April 2005

Geeks Gone Wild


And there was no clothing removed, so it was good clean fun!

I think it's safe to say Timesplitters was a hit, and Donkey Konga is surprisingly addictive. And God of War, well, that's like your first grade-school crush. And by crush I mean crush your skull and rip it off!

Anyways, I'll keep this short, everyone knows how gaming parties go. Nerds, nerds, tacos, games, beer, nerds, games, laughing, games, kongas.

In that order.


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01 April 2005

Geek Party Tonight

"Relief! Without geek parties, we'd never see anybody but OURSELVES, day in, day out."

Tacos will start us off and Halo will probably finish us. There will be no happy ending, unless of course shotgun blasts make you weak in the knees. This will actually be a good order of events since my appetite for tacos as of late has made me into a homicidal beast craving only blood. Mexican blood. But only if it tastes like salsa.

It should be fun, not as huge as usual, and I'm not hosting, Scott is. This makes me very happy, about both the size and not having to clean up.

I will be lugging the usual geek goodie bag with me, complete with gaming consoles and various other things that keep us tethered to the magic box.

All in all, I can't wait. I hope to get some gaming in since at my own parties I'm too busy running around to actually enjoy what the party is about, gaming.

Bone's gonna keep me company on the ride up and I fully expect we'll be listening to anime soundtracks booming out of my new car speakers. With light conversation about why Halo drools and why Timesplitters rules. The usual fair.

Oh, and I'm bringing the camera too. Gotta record the event, it's for posterity.

Here's a little excerpt from Microserfs regarding geek parties and geeks in general. Yeah, sue me, it's one of my favorites okay...

"The party: It was in San Francisco (the "sit-tay," as now cooler- than-us-by-virtue-of-living-there Bug and Susan call it), in Noe Valley at Ann and Jorge's. Jorge's with Sun Microsystems and Ann's with 3DO. There were LARGE quantities of delicious, snobby San Francisco food, great liquor, industry gossip, and TVs displaying earthquake damage all over the apartment. Since us Oopsters are all broke, we saved pots of money by not eating all day before the party. We never eat before geek parties.

In the moneyed world of Silicon Valley, nothing is uncooler than being broke. Karla and I were both curious to see how Ann and Jorge live. When we arrived, I was overwhelmed by the hipness factor. And where are the GEEKS? Everyone was dressed . . . like real people. Where were the ironic fridge magnets? The futons? The IKEA furniture? The Nerf products? The house looked as though it had been made over by Martha Stewart. There were REAL couches, obviously purchased NEW, in red velvet with gold and silver silk throw pillows; Matisse-derived area rugs; little candles everywhere; a REAL dining table with SIX chairs around it in its OWN ROOM with vases and bowls full of pine cones on the mantel. These people were like ADULTS . . . seamless!

Susan said they've merely disguised their evidence of not having a life: "I mean, it's like you go to somebody's house for Thanksgiving and they've spent eighteen hours covering the rooms with little orange squashes and quinces and crepe paper, and the meal is like Henry the Eighth, and you can't eat because you get this creepy sick feeling that the person who did the dinner has nothing else to do with their life. It's the dark side of Martha Stewart's Living."

Ethan said Susan still felt guilty for putting too much work and money into our gift baskets at Christmas.

I can't stop marveling at how together geeks are in the Valley. At Microsoft, there was no peer pressure to do anything except work and ship on time. If you did, you got a Ship-it Award. Easy.

Here, it's so much more complicated -- you're supposed to have an exciting, value-adding job that utilizes your creativity, a wardrobe from Nordstrom's or at the very least Banana Republic, a $400,000 house, a cool European or Japanese car, the perfect relationship with someone as ambitious, smart, and well-dressed as yourself, and extra money to throw parties so that the whole world can observe what a life you have, indeed. It makes me miss Redmond, but at the same time, it is kind of inspiring. I feel conflicted.

Even Michael noticed, with a rare lapse into pop culture: "Perhaps David Byrne was talking about the geeks inheriting the earth in that Talking Heads song, `This is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife! My God! How did I get here?'"

Many geeks don't really have a sexuality -- they just have work. I think the sequence is that they get jobs at Microsoft or wherever right out of school, and they're so excited to have this "real" job and money that they figure that the relationships will naturally happen, but then they wake up and they're thirty and they haven't had sex in eight years. There are these flings at conferences and trade shows, and everyone brags about them, but nothing seems to emerge from them and life goes back to the primary relationship: Geek and Machine.

It's like male geeks don't know how to deal with real live women, so they just assume it's a user interface problem. Not their fault."
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