And we raged...

Our youth filled with such angst and discord, our present filled with calm and reconciliation, now we are the machine and it suits us.

Tonight we laughed about the old days. About all the stories that shape us as beings, make us individuals. Over pizza and beer we laughed at our past. All the roads that brought us to where we stand. Names and faces emerged from the fog of our memories. Times, places, events. Things that we thought were gone, only to come rushing back in an instant.

Standing in an empty kitchen, we laughed for hours. Surrounded by boxes and the shell of what used to be a home, I laughed till I cried. Joe, Brian, Chris, Tammy and I recited stories of the old days. Stories that I'm sure we'll be telling forever.

Tonight I said goodbye to the closest person I've ever had to a brother. A guy who I've known since the 8th grade. He's leaving for North Carolina never to return. This will mark the first time since our tour as friends that he wont be at arms lenght. The first time he wont be there to back me up in a fight or make me laugh after a wrenching breakup. This is the first time he will truly be gone.

Sure, we've had our outs. There was a time in my life after highschool that he wanted to continue being a kid and I wanted to start growing up. We went our seperate ways for two years and when we finally met back up it was like no time had passed. I know the next time I see him it will be no different.

After our goodbyes, after I shook his hand and hugged him, his wife and his son, I drove home. On the dark road that connects his house to mine I suddenly came to that on the radio was Rage Against the Machine. This isn't unusual for the station I was on but tonight it had more meaning. This was our soundtrack, the background music of all those stories we lived tonight. Behind that, behind all of that, there we were, raging against the machine. This is us, this is all of us.

And then I felt it, the pain you get in the back of your throat just before the tears roll down your face. And right there, in my car, on that darkened road, I cranked up the volume as loud as it would go and for the two minutes I had to drive home I belted out the soundtrack of our youth.

I knew it by heart.