I'm going to be Thirty.

All week I've been trying to come up with a nice way of saying that. But in reality, there it is. Tomorrow is my birthday. February 3rd. I will be thirty years-old.

On the outside I appear to be handling it pretty well. I don't know, maybe I'm not fooling anyone. Over and over in my head, I keep repeating it, like a psychopath. Thirty, thirty, thirty...

I need to stop thinking about it. It's just a number. In it lies no weight. This is what I tell myself anyways. This is what I say to keep smiling about it.

I've never wanted to be canonically adult but there is a part of me that wants to hurry up with it all. Though still, part of me is grasping to hold on to some youth-like traits and immaturity.

It feels like I'm on a bit of a cusp. To old to be young, too young to be old.

I don't know. This woe-is-me post is pissing me off a bit. It's not like I'm quitting video games or anything that drastic. I'm having a birthday, I'm not CRAZY!

The one thing I have planned to do today -- on my birthday eve -- is to call the bank and get the pay-off amount on my car loan and be done with it. That will be 1 down, 4 to go. (A year early I might add.) My debt should all start falling in line after today. Car down, medical loan next, then credit card #1, and credit card #2. Rounding them out is Student Loan. The first step is going to be done this afternoon and it feels really good.

My plan for today is to not look at all the things I haven't accomplished by thirty, but all the things I have accomplished. And the things I will have accomplished by the time I'm 31. I didn't get to Japan last year, but I am planning to go this year. The goal is to come up with a trip, plan it, buy tickets, and go. I need that under my belt.

Tomorrow I'm having a great party. It's a video game party. The kind of which we used to have. It will be a good time even if not everyone can make it. My main objective is that we all have a good time. There are going to be 2 more 30th birthdays this year in my group of friends, Scott and Jon. I hope that we celebrate each of them to the max that they deserve.

Parting words of wisdom from a soon to be thirty year-old?

Be excellent to each other.