You're dead to me, March.

You had to get one last kick in didn't you? Are you satisfied? Driving to get something to eat today, my car just stopped working. Lost acceleration, all lights on dash come on. Eff you March, this is the last straw. You're dead to me.

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March Madness?

Oh, you have NO idea!

I don't even know where to start. This month and the last few days of February have been so bizarre that I literally stumble for words whenever I'm posed with the problem of explanation. When I talk about it, it doesn't even sound like my life I'm conveying. It sounds like I'm telling a tale of misery and dispair. Pity parades and long, meaningless diatribes -- well that's not usually my forté. So, humor me for a bit, I guess I'll start with February.

February 27th 2007: Someone by the fake name of Bontrat Kaman, with an equally fake email address hacks into my paypal account and precedes to empty out my checking account. Paul freaks out. Bills are due. And I'm staring at a balance of about $200 dollars. Call Bank! Call PAYPAL! It takes a week or so for all the money to get back. In all honesty though, it went pretty smoothly. Multiple calls and hair loss later, things are back to normal by early March.

March 24th 2007: Dennis gets a cease and desist letter from Comcast stating that contract breaking activity has been linked to our account. This is my fault. If we fail to comply our internet service will be shut down. My stomach shrinks to the size of a peanut and I immediately feel sick. I spend my morning alternating between freaking out and being on the toilet. I don't handle stress well. For the most part I do my best to avoid it all together.

March 25th 2007: My Dad arrives at BWI at 1:04pm in the afternoon. It's a bit jarring to see him. He's a recovering alcoholic who went through brain surgery a number of years ago. He's got emphysema and has trouble catching his breath. A month ago his Social Security settlement finally came and now he actually has money to live. He sent me one thousand dollars as a gift against my wishes. I told him that it was his money and he needed it more than I did. At that time he also planned a vacation to visit me and a few other friends. Spanning Texas, Maryland, Pennsylvania, and Boston he plans to do quite a bit of traveling. I have to admire that, the man hasn't left California in close to forever. It's been roughly nine years since I've seen my dad and he is staying in town for a little over a week. It's also worthy to note that I have only seen him twice in the last seventeen years. I struggle to figure out what I'm going to do with the man. I think I may take him up to Baltimore so he can see where I went to college.

March 26th 2007: I hear through the grapevine at work that we are getting a new printer for large signs in the warehouse and that they will be looking for me to run it while also maintaining my normal duties as a graphic designer upstairs. My only reply was a huge boisterous, guttural, laugh which I'm sure was mildly frightening in hindsight. This is unconfirmed at the moment but it wouldn't surprise me one bit. The normal seems to be: why pay someone else to do something when we can just give a current employee two jobs and not pay him/her any more than he/she is currently making? This is why I laughed, this is why it's funny. My job up here takes up my whole eight hours, I rarely take a lunch as it is. And it's funny to me that they think I can be in two physical places at once. Upstairs at my desk, as well as downstairs in the warehouse. Honey, if I could pull that trick off, I sure as shit wouldn't be here and I'd be making a hell of a lot more than I am now.

Needless to say this month has been a bit of a punch in the stomach. Uprooting my routines and pushing everything all out of direction. It's good to have a shake up every now and again but I can't rid this foreboding feeling. The feeling that this is all leading somewhere.

In the foggy distance of the early morning, a dark spire has broken the horizon. It's tenebrous master sits aloft, hands clasped around an aphotic crystal. It's mirrored black eye -- an ominous portent. It can only mean disaster.

Then again, maybe I've just been watching too much Carnivàle.

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