Selling a bit of old hope...

trading up for new.

So, the XL1s sold on Sunday. I packed it up and shipped it out yesterday. I have to say, once I handed it over to the post office, once I would never see it again, a little pang of sadness hit me. It's rare that your emotions surprise you. Usually I'm pretty good at preparing myself for what I'm supposed to feel.

I mean, rationally, it was just a camera. It served its purpose at the time I needed it. It was a good camera. I made some good films with it. My life has changed, my needs are different now. I guess, as with everything else, I'm out-growing a lot of things.

I'm reminded of that Ikea commercial with the old lamp sitting outside the house by the trash, unplugged, with the arm tilted downward in a weeping position, cold and in the rain. The new lamp highlighted in the house window, inside, dry and surrounded with warm light. Maybe I do feel sorry for that lamp. Maybe I am crazy.

Needless to say, the whole ordeal has been more emotional than I expected.

As if I bubble-wrapped and package-taped -- sealed and mailed off a little piece of myself. A piece of my past, of my old-life. Maybe a few dreams and aspirations thrown in there for extra padding.

The plan is to take the money and invest in a new camera. Something not as pro-sumer as the XL1s but definitely not your grandma's camcorder either. I'm looking at a Sony HVR-A1U. Seems like a nice middle ground with some nice options. 3lbs is a great weight as I plan on taking this thing out. The 1080i resolution is also nice. It should make Japan and PAX look amazing.

In sixteen days I step on a plane to leave the country. The excitement of which is overwhelming. I do well at hiding my anticipation. I keep busy and try not to count down the seconds but inside, I am bursting. I can hardly keep a thought in my head that isn't over-powered by "JAPAN! JAPAN! JAPAN!" A trip that has been in planning status for close to two years, gone through all kinds of changes and has been the root of a lot of my emotional roller coastering, is finally coming to fruition.

When I come back, things are going to be different.