05 July 2006

Oh noes! My electric mails!

Saturday night Dennis and I watched Disclosure on cable. Released in 1994 with Michael Douglas and Demi Moore playing the two leads, the real star of the film was "the internet."

Now keep in mind, my cohort and I were no where near sober. To say we were even on the same map would have been a gross geographical error. We had quaffed our share of expensive wine before sitting down and throwing ourselves into the proverbial feast of fire.

Funny how the best part of the movie was unintentional, unfettering -- to a nerd -- the rush of memories of how the internet was supposed to be, in the future. How people perceived it would look. How we'd be in it: walking around, looking here and there at the marble pillars and Grecian architectural style, picking things up, running. (Wouldn't it be nice if we could make the internet faster simply by running from place to place?) It's the same way we look back at the iconic images of talking ovens or "computers" with blinky lights from the 50's, even Darth Vader's chest piece for that matter.

The kind of innocence that can only be found in nostalgia.

Needless to say none of that innocent nostalgia kept us from making unmerciful fun of it. From the giant rotating 'e' that would manifest it's self in a hollow hole of a black window over the computer's desktop every time Michael Douglas had mail, to the ridiculous VR Douglas must go through just to retrieve some company data, helper angel and all -- this movie is a geek comedy goldmine. Replace the angel with the MS paperclip and you've got an idea of what we're talking about.

What can I say? We're nerds. Besides, everyone knows the internet is made up of a series of tubes.

This isn't the only movie we've done this with, you should have been there for my first viewing of Episode III, man, my face hurt from laughing.

Upon further inspection of our living situation -- with that giant screen in front of us -- there is no reason we couldn't mount a camcorder behind the couch and make our own episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 for airing on YouTube or something.

Yeah, I might do that, I might do that as soon as my camera comes out of the shop. Look out internets!


kbryna said...

i would so totally watch that. i'd rather watch mystery science theatre but no cable and no dvd-buying budget so i'll settle for y'all on a webcam or something.

Beautiful agony said...

you could dress amelie up and use her as a pupet prop.

Paul said...

I'm sure she'd be a great Tom Servo. this is a great idea!

Jon said...

Ah yes, Dennis can now add to his repertoire his shadow puppet hands snaking into view and "honk honking" the lead actress's bazooms. Also, shadow puppet nose picking.

Paul said...

nah, he's hi-tech now, he uses the laser pointer to make everything from zits to nipples.

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