the blog of yore

I wrote this durring my stint on myspace. I'd like to bring all those writings over here eventually. I'm an organizer. Sue me.


Originally posted: Friday, July 09, 2004

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Hey, remember that Final Fantasy game?
Yeah, that’s all I remember.

“Yeah man, so then I went into that room full of those reds and wasted every single one of em. Then I took the flag and ran it all the way back to my base with guys on my tail. Rockets whizzing past my ears, jumping and strafing past enemy spawn points. Yeah, I remember that. Best day of my life!”

I grow increasingly aware that I am running low on real memories. The biggies stick out. The day I got my learners permit, first girl, first videogame console, that time I, um, I, ahhhh. God, what did I do with my life?

See this is what I mean. I am cognizant of the fact that, for me, digital memories are clearer in my mind than actual real life experiences. I remember the exact time of day I beat Chrono-Trigger for the first time. 5:25pm, after school, 12th grade, April and rainy. The cat was staring at me, looking to get on my lap. Sorry puss, I gotta fight Lavos and he’s a mean motherfucker! You know he destroyed the planet in 2300AD right? Back up off me! Gimme some space!

I could even tell you what I had for lunch that day. Leftover, microwave-heated, pizza. Pepperoni, sausage. I know because it gave me heartburn but I wouldn’t have gotten up if there were a BFG pointed at my head.

Oh and don’t get me started on Ninja Gaiden or Strider, Bionic Commando, or Duck Tales. I’m actually certifiable.

I still remember the death of Aeris at the hand of Sephiroth in Final Fantasy VII. I remember that pain like it eviscerated me yesterday.

Okay now ask me about something in real life that should have some significance. Like when, say, I got my first car. That’s a biggie right? Yeah, it’s not there. At least not in that kind of detail. I remember it was black, and I wanted to tint the windows. I think it was a Ply? Mouth? Something like that, whatever, it’s long gone, and the only thing in its place is a brain full of time-trial races, frags, and jumping puzzles.

This is your life and its ending one checkpoint at a time.

I guess the right thing to do would be to sue game companies for the loss of my memory. I have Pixilated Alzheimer's. Techno Amnesia. Digital Dementia. Watch, I bet it’ll be in the medical books soon enough.

No really, who wants to bet?

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OMG!

VG Cats is friggin' hilarious today! Poor Shredder why people always gotta hate?

If you are into videogames and nerdiness but don't read webcomics, you should probably start. :)

Click for the larger size or just go to the site.

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Weakerthans

I'd never heard of this band until a week ago but I can safely say they have escalated to my top 25. The only way I can describe them is to say they sound like a more melodic and mellow Decemberists, but not really.
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The driver checks the mirror seven minutes late
The crowded rider's restlessness enunciates
The Guess Who sucked, the Jets were lousy anyway
The same route everyday
And in the turning lane
Someone'’s stalled again
He'’s talking to himself
And here'’s the price of gas, repeat his phrase

I hate Winnipeg
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- The Weakerthans, One Great City! -Reconstruction Site



I'm such a sucker for folk music it's not even funny.

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Crashing

I went out on a date with Kelly last night. We ate at Big Fish and went to see The Wedding Crashers.

****** Very Mild Spoilers Ahead ******

Leave it to Vince Vaughn to have me almost falling out of my theater seat laughing within the first two minutes he's on screen. Really, he might be the fastest talking, comedic actor in Hollywood right now. And it's funny, when you think of comedic actors Vince Vaughn isn't a name that directly pops into your head. It should though, he's been great since Swingers.

Needless to say the movie is great. Yeah, it's the same story that's been told before. Funny con-man cons lots of girls then finds one he loves, girl loves him back, guy gets caught in con, girl is hurt, girl is set to marry asshole but all ends well. Awww. Thanks Hollywood.

So yeah, the vacation might be the same, with the same destination but it's the actual voyage and the stops along the way that make this movie so great. Well, that and Vince Vaughn.

****** Very Mild Spoilers Over ******

I mentioned that Kelly and I went on a date. We've been seeing each other for close to a year and a half now and it feels like things have kinda slumped a bit. The new has worn off. We got comfortable. We don't call each other as much, though we still do so everyday. Things are different now though. There isn't that rush to see the other person. Though when I haven't seen her for a couple of days I still get that need to hug her and hold her. I probably don't express that need enough. I don't know if that works both ways.

This happens to every relationship I guess, and like anything else, it just needs a bit of polishing to get that shine back up to the surface. We've talked about it. We can't really imagine not having one another in our respective lives. We do love each other, I just think there's a lot of pressure from outside forces.

We're at that age when a lot of our friends are getting married and I think it weighs heavy on our minds. I'm in no rush and neither is she, but this pressure, it gets overwhelming sometimes. We both don't want to "waste each other's time." As if either of us could. We have fun together.

But still. There is that nagging pressure. "You're 28, you should find the person you're going to settle down with and if this person doesn't want to settle down with you then just cut ties." I don't want to be with anyone else, and as far as I know, neither does she. But like I said, we're in no rush. So where does that put us? Growing older together with no plans for the future? Living in the now?

I talked about it the other day with a third party and came to the conclusion that it's the nature of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Kelly and I both have it. O.C.D. is about having order, and categorizing things, keeping things straight and neat. Tidy. Above all else though O.C.D. is about not making mistakes. It's about planning and leaving as little room for error as possible.

So here we are, the great big unknown. This could just be one giant mistake, who knows? Should we stay and walk into it together? Or should we part ways not knowing if things will be better on the other side without one another?

I wanna let it ride, stay together, see how things turn out down the line.

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I know, I know

I gotta post a major update to the photo.bin. I can hear the villagers outside the gate lighting their torches. I promise I'll get to it this week.

So yeah, Otakon was fun, but it touched on something deeper for me than just anime and video games. It afforded me perspective.

I'm going to be 29 next year and I don't know if I have it in me to do it again. I don't want to be the 35 year-old man-boy with a gut and a bald spot still showing up to pre-register wearing an Otogi Zoshi t-shirt.

This doesn't mean I'm going to stop watching anime or playing video games, I enjoy those things. It's just, maybe I should enjoy those things in the comfort of my home, or at a friend's home. I don't think I need a convention to make me feel like I'm really part of something. This isn't the kind of place that gives your life purpose.

I'll probably go next year but maybe just for one day. To hit the dealer room and hang out with my friends. It just seems like 3 days is overkill. After a while it just becomes like everything else. Routine.

Don't read this the wrong way. I had fun. Friday was a blast but I just couldn't shake the feeling that there was something intrinsically unheathy about the whole thing.

Anyways, here are some of the highlights, not in any particular order:

• Our new friend from Tokyo, Kouto.
• "I LOVE YOUR MULLET!"
• The floor headband.
• "You boys got that MAN-JAH I been hearin' bout?"
• Super.
• Monkey.
• Ball.
• OtaJon dry-humping Jengo's leg.
• Being unable to read the subtitles.
• But still being able to follow along.
• "... stuPID biTCH!"
  
• OTABURGER!
• Throwing up the horns in every picture.
• Why our anime is teh sux0rz. News at 11:00.
  
• A kid spending his entire life savings on Katamari Damacy.
• Being really, really, really, annoying.
• Finding out a stranger's secret hobby over a beer.
• The Mr. T flyer I got.
  
• The look on Kevin's face after Tentacle Hentai.
• "_____want some Miwk?"
• Snake-Eyes is fucking METAL!
• Jon buying everything from Japan that's under 5 bucks.
• "I'MMMMM COMMMMMMMMING!!!"
  
• Ctrl-Alt-Del signing posters with his sunglasses on.
• Ctrl-Alt-Del thinking he's hot shit.
• Buying some good anime.
• Laughing so hard it gives you a headache.
  

That's pretty much the recap.
See you next time space cowboy.

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...

Every now and again a song comes along that reminds you why you listen to music in the first place.

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You may tire of me
as our December sun is setting
'cause I’m not who I used to be.
No longer easy on the eyes
but these wrinkles masterfully disguise
the youthful boy below.
Who turned your way and saw
something he was not looking for
both a beginning and an end.
Now he lives inside
someone he does not recognize
when he catches his reflection on
accident.

On the back of a motor bike
with your arms outstretched
trying to take flight
leaving everything behind.
But even at our swiftest speed
we couldn’t break from the concrete
in the city where we still reside.
And I have learned
that even landlocked lovers yearn
for the sea like navy men.
'Cause now we say goodnight
from our own separate sides
like brothers on a hotel bed.

You may tire of me
as our December sun is setting
cause I’m not who I used to be.

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- Death Cab For Cutie, Brothers on a Hotel Bed, Plans, 2005



...

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Nothing quite like...

a night of Burgers from 5 Guys Burgers and Fries, anime and videogames to get you back on track. Tonight is gonna be super cool, can't wait. Thursdays are the best!

Oh and I almost forgot, D and I are getting super good at Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory Co-op, and this is on Elite (no bullets) and Expert (really freaking hard) mode mind you. And yeah, about the one body that was found, D says some of those poses are just too funny to hide.

:)

UPDATE: (!!!)


And BTW, our TV p0wNZ0rZ your TV.

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Collision

The equation for panic: Mom + Car + Accident.

I heard that equation through my voicemail on Sunday. Let me first say this, everything is fine, everything except the car, but really, that was the last thing on my mind.

As cliché as it sounds now, I need to spend more time with her. I need to spend more time with all of my family.

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