24 March 2005

Origami was never my thing

I've been occupying my free time as of late with Paper Mario. Actually it's surprisingly intrinsic. It's about it's self. It's about Mario when he's not off being Mario. A VH1 Behind the Mario if you will and it's got me enthralled.

Yes, at it's core it's an adventure RPG. You're Mario set out to rescue Princess Peach. During your journey you have to find these things called crystal stars, which hold the key to The Thousand Year Door. You want these stars, they gain you new abilities and if you don't collect them evil Emperor Grodus and his clumsy band of hapless x-nauts will. And as we all know, evil emperors are always bent on world domination. However, Paper Mario is so very much more than it’s clich├ęd story line. It makes fun of it's self and posts all these questions about what it means to be Mario in this crazy mixed up mushroom world.

Guess who’s excited? Well, this guy in a review of Paper Mario on ebgames.com is excited. The English language has never been put to use so eloquently.

“paper mario2 seems tight I'd PLAYED ever mario game,but paper MARIO IS THE FUNNIEST OF THEM ALL.I LOVED PART 1 I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TOMAKE A PART TWO JUST THE WAY IT ENDED YEAH AND YOU SHOULD PUT PART 1 IN THERE JUST FOR WE COULD REMEMBER HOW IT ENDED LIKE THE END PART NOT THE WHOLE GAME .EXEPECT ALOT OF MONEY ON THE FIRST WEEK.”

Okay…

Guess who else’s excited? Your teammates. Mario isn't alone in the in one, he brought a posse. Each with their own out spoken predilection, they express a 'go get em' attitude toward fighting the evil in the world. Especially a little Yoshi you find along the way. He doesn’t have a name so you get to give him one. I went with GoNAD. Lets hope I never have kids.

Guess who’s pissed!? I mean, besides GoNAD.

Bowser’s pissed. He’s pissed because he didn’t get to kidnap Peach this time around, he’s pissed because he harbors secret feelings towards her. Dirty giant turtle feelings. Gamera feelings. He’s also pissed because every time he turns around someone is telling him what Mario is doing. I mean, really, like he gives a turtle crap. Cant the koopas leave him alone? Being an evil fire-breathing turtle surrounded by idiots must be hard.

And Mario? Mario doesn’t like Luigi’s long boring ass stories. He’s long winded man. For. Real. Mario does like to gamble though, and he and I play the lottery daily. And when I say daily, I mean my time, not game time. New numbers are announced every night at midnight. That’s real time.

You have to wonder what goes on in that cute silver shell of the Gamecube when it’s turned off. Does that little disc spin around by it’s self, creating a gravity field for this world that seems to exist even when you’re not there? Does Mario sleep in there when you’re not around to control him? I guess he could since it is Paper Mario and everything is flat, only millimeters in width. I guess it’s possible.

Does Bowser decorate his room with posters of Princess Peach?

Where do Bob-ombs go when they explode?

If a tree falls in the mushroom kingdom and no one is playing, does it still make a sound?

2 comments:

Jon said...

"Where do Bomb-ombs go when they explode?"

You're killing me...

Paul said...

:D

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