Varekai

Let me first clarify what I am about to write with this brief introduction.

I am not a fan of sports. Baseball stats and football drafts don’t do it for me. I couldn’t tell you the first rule of soccer or how to hit a golf ball. However, this doesn’t make me any less of a man. I enjoy playing videogames, working on computers, fast cars and movies with explosions. I like fights and violence, swords and ninjas.

I dig having sex with women.

That out of the way I can safely say, without doubt in my mind, Cirque du Soleil: Varekai is the most amazing thing I’ve ever bared witness with my own eyes.

Kelly’s mom had two extra tickets and after a bit of corralling I said I‘d go. I had to cancel some plans. Reschedule. Reconfigure a little but reluctantly, on short notice, I could go.

I’ll tell you a secret. I’m glad I did.

I sat there for three hours with my jaw slacked open. It was goddamn beautiful.

If I were to make an attempt at explaining the things I saw in that tent here in these pages I’m most assured you’d find me quite mad. There were men and beasts, women and children, angels and devils, all flipping and contorting through the air with the kind of grace one hears about only in myth. Light and color filled my pupils till I thought them full. Sound and music swelled from my insides out. There wasn’t a bad seat in the house.

I checked out the soundtrack only to find that there are tracks remixed by Thievery Corporation and Christopher Goze. It’s astounding. How did I not know?

It’s in town, in Baltimore MD until the 19th of this month. If you’re on the fence about it, just go. You’ll thank me.

Kelly’s mom got us the regular tickets. She hooked us with what would normally cost about $75.00 a piece. She got the VIP tickets for herself, which I’m told included “out front” parking and access to the VIP section. The latter said to hold something wondrous called a Chocolate Fountain. I can only assume one dips a diamond encrusted chalice to it’s rippling stream and partakes what must be a gift of the gods. I have no idea what those tickets cost but rest assured next year I’ll pay for the full treatment.

Yes, next year. I’m going again. And after that, again.