12 October 2005

Walls

It's done. Time to put the walls back up. I haven't seen em in a while, I'm sure they could use some dusting. Gotta clean up the china in the china shop too.

Talked to D a lot tonight.

Honestly, I'm fine. As weird as it sounds I know everything is gonna turn out for the better, whatever that might be. People are people, you can't blame them for doing what they feel in their heart is right, no matter how much it hurts or doesn't make sense to you.

I wish her luck in finding what is missing.

I will miss her.

8 comments:

The Wise Woman of Bowie said...

I'm so sorry. Not that it's any consolation at this point but with each long term relationship you have, you're getting better at it, choosing better partners. As bad as this is for you, you had a great relationship and were willing to work on making it better. Find comfort in that. You can't control what another person feels, or doesn't feel. Love is a risk that is always worth taking. Otherwise we're just going through the motions. Try not to leave the walls up for too long because you might miss someone extraordinary. And besides, they might not have the opportunity to see just how extraordinary YOU are. Hang in there. I feel your pain.

Paul said...

I just want this lump in my throat to go away.

We talked, she knows how I feel. This relationship we had, this kinda thing doesn't happen everyday. She's not just gonna turn a corner and find this again. Neither am I for that matter. We were on the same page on so many things. The little things and the big. We shared and grew so much in so little time.

It's been said before, I couldn't have loved her more if I tried. In the end that wasn't enough.

My imperfect offering.

I'm not looking forward to starting over but what're you gonna do...

the wise woman of bowie said...

You are right, this kind of thing doesn't come along everday. But what you already know, she's going to have to find out for herself. Starting over sucks. But you will, when you're ready. Grandma says she's really sorry and to tell you she loves you. (You're her favorite, you know.)

Jon said...

Press start to continue.

Paul said...

As always Jon you amaze me with your simplicity. You have hit the nail on the head. Thank you, I think I will.

DelTron said...

Hey, the way I see it, me lending my ear is just returning a long overdue favor...

I'm not going to let you make it out of this without becoming stronger.

We all owe at least that to you...

Anonymous said...

Video game psychology wins every time.

Paul said...

thanks anonymous, it does.

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