25 October 2005

The undead of fashion

Every three or four years it comes back. Stories of old tell the tale of a fashion fop who one day -- on the night of a full moon -- gave birth to a woeful style. He strolled into town, the whisp-whisp of his thighs unbeknownced to him carrying the tune of forever damnation.

This cadaverous craze, this deceased dernier cri, this rigor mortis rage -- it's come back to life once again and I feel it's my job to send it packing to the abhorrent realm from which it spawned.

I'm speaking of course of corduroy.

I'm out shopping and I'll see it on a shelf, or on a rack, hanging there, mocking good taste and common sense. No, it won't look good on you. Yes, your friends will laugh. You'll never pass ninja school if everyone can hear you coming. What are you thinking?

You kill it and it only comes back stronger, more potent.

It's as if someone says, "you know what I haven't heard in a while? Corduroy." And like all abominations, as these words are spoken -- as if some kind of demonic decree proclaimed -- the being's rotting corpse is reanimated to plague Gaps and Old Navys everywhere.

Not on my watch sister.

*the SHUCK-SHUCK pump of a shotgun*

Not on my watch.

5 comments:

Jon said...

Again our identical fashion sense frightens me.

I HATE corduroy. I'd rather wear clothing made of stitched broken glass than don so much as a patch of corduroy.

Consider me your ally in this fight.

"Are you a Bad enough Dude to save the President's daughter... from corduroy!"

Paul said...

LOL!!! Player 2 Press Start!

Also I seem to have come up with a new colloquialism:

"You're about as useful as a ninja suit made out of corduroy"

Delivered in the Man-JAH voice of course.

DelTron said...

UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, B, A, SELECT, START...

Now, you are ready...

:)

Jon said...

Fuck codes. Ninjas come with game sharks.

Baby Sea Tuna said...

What in god's name are you talking about? Corduroy rules! Hell, I've been waiting 9 frikkin months for it to be cold enough to break out the cords. I wasn't sure whether they'd still be cool and hip but something tells me that if the guys with the snarky Dungeons and Dragons shirts think they're unfashionable, then I'll take my chances...

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