StarScream and Hutch

I used to write rap songs, well, Dennis and I. Our rap names were StarScream and Hutch, I'm Hutch, he's StarScream. We even had aliases for our aliases.

Hutch: Big Bully Bullocks, Squint Eastwood, Sparkamus Prime

StarScream: Scooty Puff Jr.

With song titles like :
01. Two Scoops A-Blazin'
02. Gi Joe’s one known foe, your mama’s toe.
03. Teddy Ruxpin’s got crazy rhyme bustin.
04. They call me Mr. Sarcastic...Shaggy Fan-Tas-Tic!
05. Bearded Mother of the Smothers Brothers
06. On golden Showers with Super powers.
07. I said "that chick's lazy", not "Patrick Swayze..."
08. Magic missiles and girly cat-whistles.
09. Santa Claus and Boss Hog's balls.
10. Lock, stock and two smoked out crazies, pushin' up daises.
11. Toe-tappin', fool-slappin' mischief.
12. Beatles songs about all-wool thongs

They made me laugh. They still do. They were so bad, but so good at the same time. Here's a highlight from one I wrote. I might post more if I feel like it, they tend to get a little graphic though.

Magic missiles and girly cat-whistles.

StarScream, StarScream, tsk tsk tsk / Why these kids think they can mess with this? / cleanin' up their style like our name was wisk / goin' on for miles like our christmas lists / We're the evil corporation for two-thousand-four / forget Enron we're harder core / the axis of evil is knockin' down your door / and sellin' your grandmother into slave labor / don't even think about savin’ her / we kept your lightsaber / I'm like the evil yoda except taller / and cuter / stealin' your shit like a rioting looter / using my force to run off on your scooter / cloggin’ up your brains like roto-router / cause I’m puttin’ on my cloak and wizard hat / servin’ up fools with my wiffleball bat / and killin’ off all your level nine mages / you think you can stop us? / we been here for ages / murderin’ dudes just like you / I’m level ninety / StarScream’s ninety-two / don’t test me kid I’ll summon magic-missile / makin’ all the ladies howl and whistle / burnin’ up your crew like a pile of thistle / cause we’re runnin’ things like Spacely Sprockets / lettin’ loose with our magic rhyme rockets / This is the norm for two-thousand plus four / runnin’ up in you like a high-priced whore / sellin’ out in the record store / makin’ all the kiddies foam for more / StarScream and Hutch are on the scene / out for hire like Hannibal’s A-Team / and B.A. Baracus / and that fool named Face / even that crazy ass Murdock couldn’t rock this place / not like us and that’s a fact / so step to this if you wanna get jacked / but otherwise you best keep your distance / we’re runnin’ full force like the Jedi resistance.